Monday, 29 December 2014

Lessons from the festive season: #4 Confess your sins, Say your goodbyes & Recite the Lord's Prayer at least 11 times before driving on Kenyan Highways at night

It's 1500 hours. Tuesday, December 23, 2014. I'm at the Kenyan Immigration Office at the Malaba border being cleared to enter Kenya from Uganda. Being a festive season, the border point is unusually busy. Majority of Kenyans are crossing into Uganda for the holidays. Some are ridiculously super excited like they are crossing into the promised land. Others are talking arrogantly to the Immigration Officer like they will never return to Kenya. For a moment, the Immigration Office looks like a scene pulled out of one of those badly shot Uzbekistan porn movies.

Thursday, 25 December 2014

Sex, greed and alcohol - it's Christmas in my village

Make no mistake about it. My village knows how to party hard. The majority of the population may be living below the poverty line. However, when it comes to the Christmas holiday. No one parties like Rockstars like my village. Let me paint for you the picture of how it went down yesterday, the eve of Christmas. 

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

I spit on your grave

An hour ago. A person whom I have considered a good friend for a long time, threatened me. The text message was cold and chilling. It didn't mince words. It didn't sound political, Scriptural or socially. It was brief and to the point. You will pay for this dearly.

Thursday, 11 December 2014

My weekend getaway escapade in Naivasha (PHOTOS)

If you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together, goes an African proverb. Well, against this backdrop, I spent this past weekend in the serenity of the Great Rift Valley Lodge in Naivasha with a group of my awesome chama (investment group members) as we cracked our brains on matters wealth creation.

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Men, beware! Avoid dating these women at all costs - By Anne Muiruri

A few days ago, I was having lunch with my elder brother who is one of my best friends. As usual, he regaled me with tales of one of his ex-girlfriends; a crazy woman and a drama queen to boot. My brother is one of those people who have a very interesting love life. His love life often sounds like a Mexican telenova or a Nigerian movie.

Friday, 5 December 2014

My fellow countrymen, Kenyans, who the hell bewitched us?

You got to love my fellow countrymen, Kenyans, and the things they do and say. We are a peculiar kind, possessing spectacular attributes, to say the least.The major happenings in Kenya for the last one or so months got me thinking of how really special we Kenyans are.

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

It's a wrap, ngiyabonga South Africa

I’m 39,000 feet in the air. Aboard the new Kenya Airways Boieng 737. It’s a state of the art aircraft, or at least that’s what Captain Abdi intimated as we took off from OR Tambo International Airport in Johannesburg. My destination - my city, my town: the seductive Nairobi.

Monday, 1 December 2014

My one-night stand in Pretoria

The antelope does not blame the one who killed it, goes a Kenyan proverb, but the one who stirred its rest. I have a crazy hangover right now. I swear it feels as if someone is mining for black diamond inside my head. The hangover is so intense I have begun suspecting maybe the gods are having a heated argument inside it over who should be blamed. Unlike the antelope, I blame the one who almost sold my soul to the devil - my buddy Jimmy.

Thursday, 27 November 2014

Soweto - the heartbeat of South Africa, or is it?

Behind me are the Orlando Power Station towers that are always synonymous with Soweto. The towers carry the largest mural painting in South Africa.
I will be honest. My perception of Soweto, and by extension South Africa was formed purely from watching the Sarafina movie. For the longest time, I associated Soweto with human suffering, misery, abject poverty, abuse of human rights, struggle for survival and the like. So, you can imagine my shock when I finally set foot in Soweto. It was nothing I had imagined and perceived.

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

The wonders of KwaZulu-Natal

KwaZulu-Natal is a province of South Africa, located in the southeast of the country, enjoying a long shoreline beside the Indian Ocean and sharing borders with three other provinces and the countries of Mozambique, Swaziland and Lesotho. It's capital is Pietermaritzburg and its largest city is Durban. During the 1830s and early 1940s, the northern part of what is now KwaZulu-Natal was occupied by the Zulu Kingdom. 

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

I cannot describe Durban without sounding sexual

Thanks to a few privileges the gods threw at me. I spent three hours enjoying the finest things in life at the Bidvest Premier Lounge at the OT Tambo International Airport in Johannesburg. As I waited to connect my flight to Durban.

Monday, 24 November 2014

My chilling experience at the Mandela House in Johannesburg

So, the gods have decided that for the next one week I will be travelling the length and breath of South Africa. Certainly, its doesn't get better than this for a guy who loves adventure. Best part though, my readers will be on the front seat as I share with you my experiences, and crazy, amazing, weird, hilarious and interesting world.

Friday, 21 November 2014

Your dress is your choice as long as you don't have a whore mouth

I was waiting to write this article after everyone has cooled down, and can reason objectively. I assume that by now all the emotions, outbursts and insults have been exhausted. I further assume that for those who were in denial that in the 21 Century, the Year of our Lord - women are still being stripped along Kenyan streets - have now accepted that it actually happened. And have either moved on, or have armed themselves with a short gun, paper spray, martial art skills and Prophet Kanyari's speed dial.

Friday, 14 November 2014

Meet these young lads who are ROCKing Nairobi

For the last four years I have had the same ringtone for my phone. If You're Gone by Matchbox Twenty. I love this song to death.., Ok, not really to death, but you get the point. 

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

My encounter with Nairobi's campus divas

It started innocently. I accepted her friend's request on Facebook even without consulting the gods, as per my tradition. What followed next was what romantic Nigerian movies are made of. She liked half of my photos and posts, all in a day. She then poked me twice and inbox'ed me a long intro of herself. 

Thursday, 6 November 2014

Nairobi women my mama warned me against

In the process of my father broadcasting his wild oats. I guess with the intention of fathering a co-heir to his rocky piece of land. I was born on a chilly Saturday night at a time when maziwa ya Nyayo was still part of the school curriculum. I was born weighing a miserable 2,500 grams. I am told the day I was born, my father was so happy he drunk himself into a temporal coma.

Monday, 3 November 2014

Forget Prophet Victor Kanyari, my village has the best preachers

Yesterday, the Kenya Television Network (KTN) ran a captivating investigative story entitled: Prayer Predators. It was a story of how a Kenyan preacher, Prophet Victor Kanyari has been duping faithfuls in his church for financial gains. Well, watching the story I got this to say: forget Prophet Victor Kanyari, my village has the best preachers. 

Thursday, 30 October 2014

Message to Men: There's more to a marriage than wearing a wedding ring & adding weight

I know of very few men who got married and didn't add weight. In my social circle, they are just a handful. In fact their inability to add weight can be explained. Some inherited skinny genes from their ancestors. Others are fighting bankruptcy depression. Having taken a huge loan the size of Uzebkistan's GDP to simply show off by throwing a big fat garden wedding. Still others are burdened with too many responsibilities. Like sustaining the celebrity lifestyle for their mistresses or paying a car loan, for them to care about adding weight.

Monday, 27 October 2014

I hate wedding committees.., Yes I said it

I'm not going to mince words. I hate wedding committees. For those who live in another planet. Wedding committees are formed to assist the wedding couple in making decisions regarding the wedding. Their lo-o-o-o-ng list of job description includes, though not limited, to selecting service providers, fundraising and handling the logistics of the wedding day. It's a noble idea. In fact I think its the best invention after slice bread. Though frankly speaking, I think most couples are utterly exploiting and abusing this great human invention.

Thursday, 23 October 2014

Why I will marry a Kenyan woman

I'm a worried Kenyan man. Our potential marriageable women are getting extinct. Look around, the potential wife material are all being plucked by foreigners left and right. I frequently bump into odiero's and our African broda's at the airport exporting their latest catch.

Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Don't confuse good sex with love

I had an interesting chat this past weekend with a good close friend of mine. "I think I am dating the worse guy ever," she blurred out without a warning. Well, this is where my journalistic curiosity kicks in. Minutes later, this is what I gathered from her. 

Monday, 13 October 2014

I am looking for my Mwende

Three months ago, I was seated at the counter of Club Casaurina in Mtwapa, Mombasa County with the company's driver as we irrigated our throats with frothy waters.

Friday, 10 October 2014

If Kenya's First Lady was from my village

I have lots of respect, praise and admiration for Kenya's First Lady, Margaret Kenyatta. I love the way she carries and presents herself. She is classy, intelligent, stylish, elegant and most importantly very down to earth. She is very soft spoken (a little coy even). She is generous with her smile, and I believe with her purse too.

Monday, 6 October 2014

Why I pity most Kenyan entrepreneurs

The customer, I was told by Mr. Onyango, my stout, tall, black, huge-framed Standard Seven Business Education teacher, is the foundation of any business. He used to emotionally emphasize (sometimes his emphasis involved corporal punishment) that a business that doesn't value its customers will end up under the lakebed of Lake Victoria.

Thursday, 2 October 2014

The Day I Bought Love in Kampala, Uganda

Last weekend as Nairobians went crazy with Safaricom Sevens rugby tournament, while others went to salivate at vintage cars at the Concours d’Elegance. I was in Kampala, Uganda in search of sin.

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

The Insanity that is Nairobi's Subaru Drivers

Nairobi's Thika Superhighway
Yesterday morning, a middle aged man was knocked and killed by a Subaru Forester driver along Nairobi's Thika Highway. Last week on Sunday on the same highway, I was almost ran over by an overzealous Subaru Driver near Utalii Hotel. Frankly speaking, the young man was driving as if he was to land on the moon.

Friday, 26 September 2014

Signs He's Just Not that Into You

Ladies, does this sound familiar: you love him to death but you are not sure if he loves you. He gives you mixed signals regarding the relationship or his commitment. Sometimes he seems to be so into you, other times, well, not as much.

Monday, 22 September 2014

Forget Kenyan Socialites and Campus Divas, My Grandma is the Real Deal

My grandma
When my grandpa (may the gods rest his soul in eternal pleasure), married my thin-skinned luhya fundamentalist grandma at a small mud-walled dusty church in Nambacha village in Kakamega County decades ago, her clan slapped grandpa with an invoice reading four skinny cows, an ugly Zebu bull and a dozen kuku ya kienyeji.

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

The day I was arrested for speeding

My aim, as usual was to take slightly under 5 hours to travel from Kitale to Nairobi, a distance of 358Km. In any case, I've driven on this route many times than I could care to count.

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

3 Signs that he might be cheating on you - By Debbie Harrower

Before I met the most amazing man just over a year ago, I had had only two previous relationships. Both were long term and both were with men much older than I. They both cheated on me. The first guy cheated on me with one of my friends. We had been going out for about three years. I was so young, that only after I had found out (she came clean after one too many drinks) could I look back and see all the signs. While I was in the thick of things, I thought everything was fine between us. So naive.

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

There's a Reason Why an Ex is an Ex

A while ago, I had the displeasure of bumping into my ex. She was in the company of her husband and daughter, and although she tried to force a smile on her now pale and rugged face, I could tell she wasn't happy. After a few chit chats, we parted ways. Two hours later, she had sent me an SMS, suggesting that "we hook up for a drink"... since "she had a confession to make." Sweetheart, we broke up 3 years ago, what possibly of a confession do you have to make to me, I had wondered, albeit silently. 

Monday, 8 September 2014

The Irony of Fake Women Looking for Mr. Right

In the dating and relationship world, everyone has their value. As an individual, your value is determined by various factors, key among them in my opinion is how you present yourself to your prospective partner or lover. Look at it as promoting or marketing a product to a potential buyer. Of course, the product has to have certain competitive attributes that are desirable and attractive to the buyer. This attributes range from value for money, quality, packaging, authenticity, price among other things.

Thursday, 4 September 2014

Signs She Will Make a Good Wife

Marriage is one of the most important things - and one of the most life-changing endeavors - any of us will undertake in life. You have to be absolutely sure that the woman in your life is someone you’ll be happy spending time with day in and day out, and certain characteristics can make it a little clearer to you that she’s the one. Here are 10 signs that the woman in your life will make a good wife.

1. She’s trustworthy and loyal. A great wife loves her man…flaws and all, and takes the time to show him how much she appreciates him every day and will not be out doing something she shouldn’t be when you are apart. This type of woman is ready to go to war with you and take on whatever obstacle life presents.

2. She’s emotionally stable. Your future bride should display confidence, have a real life of her own, be able to stand on her own emotionally and should be happily going in her own positive direction with no signs of emotional baggage. Furthermore, she should be able to meet you at an intellectual level, constantly surprise you, keep you on your toes and deepen your attraction past the physical realm.

3. The two of you have similar interests. If there are things you both like to do, that’s a good sign you are entering a marriage of happiness and longevity.

4. She respects you. The woman you decide to marry should be a genuine person who considers you in every situation and will be on your side no matter what. She should not be the type that will be checking out other guys, but will keep her attention focused on you, the man in her life.

5. The two of you have great communication. There is nothing more important in a relationship than communication, and if you are considering making it official by marrying her, you have to feel comfortable talking with her about any and everything. The more you communicate with your woman, the less likely the two of you will get into arguments because you both will be able to talk about your problems instead of holding them in.

6. You have great intimacy together. The way you relate to each other in the bedroom has a big influence on whether the two of you will stay together after wedding vows are exchanged, so the intimacy between the two of you should be on point.

7. The two of you can laugh together. Mutual laughter is an essential component of a strong and healthy marriage. Romance is much better if you can see humor in the little things and can have a laugh together.

8. Her finances are in order. When you get married you will accumulate debt together, but you don’t want to marry someone who is up to her neck in debt and has no income. You may feel you should be taking care of her, but it still feels good knowing you have someone who has a reliable job, good credit and is responsible when it comes to managing her money.

9. She’s beautiful inside and out. The woman you decide to marry should be beautiful on the inside and the outside and will not only want to look good for you, but also for herself. This doesn’t mean that she has to look like a model, but she should be so well put together that you’ll be proud to have her on your arm and enjoy the sight of her in any light.

10. You are both in agreement on kids. No marriage will thrive, nor perhaps will any marriage survive, in which one spouse wants children and the other rejects any notion of children. When considering marriage, if both of you are in agreement on the notion of children, you will likely be entering into a pleasurable, long-term marriage.

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Signs She Will Make a Bad Wife

If you’re thinking of asking your girlfriend to become your wife, deciding if you’re ready to make the commitment to marriage is only half the battle. You have to be absolutely sure that the woman in your life is someone you’ll be happy spending time with day in and day out. Love alone is not enough to make a marriage work, and certain characteristics are warning signs for a troubled marriage down the road. Here are some of the most obvious signs that your girlfriend is not marriage material.

1. She cuts you off from loved ones. A girlfriend who always becomes sick when it’s time to spend quality time with your family and even forbids you from hanging out with your friends will only act worse after you say your vows.

2. She bails on you when times get tough. Life isn’t always a bowl of cherries, but that doesn’t mean that the woman in your life should just disappear when the times get tough. If your girlfriend is not supportive of you emotionally through difficult times and only stands by you when things are going good, she’s not the one you should be walking down the aisle with.

3. She displays psychotic behaviors. A woman who breeds chaos, misunderstanding and insanity might not be the best person to swear your undying loyalty to. If she displays severe psychological problems now, imagine what kind of influence her crazy and irrational behaviors will have on your future. Marrying a woman like this will most likely ruin your life and your perception of women forever.

4. She’s too clingy. If your girlfriend can’t go anywhere or do anything without you, calls you twenty times a day and destroys any chance of you missing her because because the two of you are never apart, she’s going to make a bad wife.

5. She has nothing going on for herself
. You should want to marry a woman who has goals and brings something better to your life, not one who is up to her neck in debt, has no income, displays unpredictable behaviors and has tried numerous, short-lived career paths yet never knows what she wants in life. This type of fickle lifestyle could derail your own life plan as well.

6. She’s controlling. If your girlfriend controls all of your conversations, constantly forces you into agreeing with her and acts as an overbearing, emotional bully, it’ll only get worse after you say “I do.”

7. She’s already cheated on you. Do you honestly believe that a woman is marriage material if she has been unfaithful to you while you were dating? Yes, a person can always change and learn from their mistakes; however, a cheating girlfriend will more than likely continue to be unfaithful after marriage.

8. Her libido doesn’t match yours. Another sign that she’ll make a bad wife is if her libido differs wildly from yours. The way you relate to each other in the bedroom has a big influence on whether the two of you will stay together after wedding vows are exchanged, so it’s best to work this out before you walk down the aisle.

9. She’s extremely jealous. Although a little bit of jealousy is essential for a healthy relationship, extreme jealousy arises in a relationship because of high levels of insecurity. If your girlfriend is jealous of every girl who comes near you, refuses to accept that you have female friends and feels threatened when you discuss your previous relationships, putting a ring on her finger is not going to make her more secure.

10. She can’t admit when she’s wrong. If she always seems to have the upper hand in arguments, refuses to admit her faults or even treat you as an equal, she’s not the marrying kind. 

Interested in the other side of the story, check out Signs She Will Make a Good Wife

Friday, 29 August 2014

Ladies, 10 Signs to Know He's a Good Man - By Lyz Wainaina

Lyz Wainaina
The debate continues to roar as to what defines a good man and what doesn’t. Nowadays, many ladies believe he’s good enough if he can cater for your needs and make you comfortable. They say forget about the fact that he’s cheated, if he can afford your expenses he’s good enough.

Ladies, it's great to have a man who has a good job and is financially stable, but by no means should that be the deciding factor on whether he’s a GOOD man or not. Well, in case you have been wondering, here's some of the ways to know he's a good man.

1. He's faithful and committed to you. A good man doesn't play games of cheating on you. He's mature, principled and focused to your relationship. He doesn't treat you as an option, or someone he's doing a favour being in a relationship with. His words and actions affirm without a shadow of a doubt his commitment and love to you. Ladies, I know this kind of men are few to find, but it doesn't mean they don't exist.

2. He treats women with respect: No woman wants an arrogant, proud and disrespectful man. If a man respects women in general, it's a good sign that he will show you the same respect.

3. He’s honest and trustworthy: By all account, he may not be Angel Gabriel pulled right from the pages of the Old Testament, but ladies, there’s something to be said about an honest man. Show me an honest and trustworthy man and I will show you a good man. 

4. He keeps his word with you: Forget about the loud mouths who only talk big but do nothing. A really good sign of a good man is he keeps his word with you. If he says he going to do something he does it because disappointing you is the last thing he wants to do. Ladies, if you meet such a man, hang on to him because they are few to find. 

5. He spends quality time with you: If a man truly loves you, he will create time for you - don't get it twisted, it's that simple my dear. However, if he's always busy, always rushing somewhere, always chasing something and keeps standing you up, sweetheart, that's a red flag right there. Quality time is VERY important for a healthy relationship. If a man loves being with you and spending quality time, that’s a great sign.

6. He shows you how he feels: Ever heard the saying “Actions speak louder than words”? that’s one of the truest sayings in the world. Anyone can say “I love you” or “I care about you” but the question is…. do they show it?

7. He listens to you: Listening is one of the most underrated qualities. It’s annoying when a man over talks me or constantly cuts me off or just seems uninterested in what I have to say. When a man listens to you and hears what you are saying, it shows what you have to say matters to him.

8. He respects you: When a man respects you, it shows in every way, the way he speaks to you, the way he speaks about you to others, little things he does like opening the door, calling you just to check on you, constantly complimenting you... etc. 

9. When you have a bad day he tries to make it better: When you are having one of those not-so-good days, he tries to put a smile on your face or make you laugh because seeing you sad hurts him. And finally...

10. He accepts you for who YOU are: Sometime men will get with a woman and then start requesting changes. “stop wearing so much makeup” or “stop hanging up with your friends" or better still "why are you wearing that outfit”.. a good guys loves and accepts you just the way you are. 

Thursday, 21 August 2014

10 Pieces of Advice Every Woman Needs to Hear

Your worth is not defined by what others think of you. You may be trash according to them, but you are priceless to God. You need to develop tunnel vision to your purpose. Once you develop that, No one can stand in the way of your vision. It’s too important.
Just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t mean it’s right. Never feel the need to “fit in”. As Christians, we have an obligation to stand out from the rest of the world. When you don’t know what to do it might seem like a good idea to do the same thing everyone else is doing. After all, if everyone else is doing it, It can’t be that bad, right? WRONG!
Tough times are only temporary. Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you get hurt, you heal. After darkness there is always light. No matter how difficult the situation is, keep pushing forward in Faith and remind yourself that troubles don’t last always and tough times are only temporary.
Attitude is everything. I can’t stress this enough. Your attitude determines the outcome of every situation in our life. You can let something break you or you can let it make you stronger. The choice is yours. “A bad attitude is like a flat tire. If you don’t change it, you’ll never go anywhere.”
Mean Girls aren’t cool. A pretty face is nothing if you have an ugly heart. There’s nothing cute about putting others down. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Respect starts with Self-Respect. It all starts with you. Respect yourself and others will have to respect you as well. In relationships, people can only treat you the way you allow them to treat you. No, you can’t control the way others act, but you don’t have to tolerate it neither.
The little things are what matters the most. Sometimes we pray for material things… and that’s fine, but don’t forget the things which money can’t buy. ( your health, your family, your friends ) Happiness isn’t about getting what you want all the time. It’s about loving what you have and realizing how blessed you are to have it!
When one door closes, another one opens. …And most of the time, an even better one. God sometimes closes doors because it’s time for us to move forward. And that’s a good thing because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to. Just know that God will restore everything you lost.
Faith makes things possible, not easy. …And Faith without works is dead. You’ve got to work hard and pray harder. Remember… anything worth having is worth working for. They’ll be days when you’ll want to give up, Don’t!
Without God you are nothing. No matter how big you get, never forget where He has brought you from. Be humble. Realize that you are blessed to have the things you have. They are gifts from God. They are not owed to you. Oh and FYI…Humble pie doesn’t taste good at all.

Monday, 18 August 2014

6 Types of Difficult People and How to Deal with Them

We all have difficult people we need to deal with in our lives on a daily basis. They may be our lovers, friends, bosses, neighbours, colleagues, siblings or so on. Whoever they are, difficult people can drive us crazy, and knowing how to deal with them is an art that needs to be mastered by everyone. Here is a list of 6 types of difficult people we all encounters almost everyday, and how to deal with them.

1. The Demanding Type. These are the little dictators. They are pushy and domineering. Its always their way or no way. They have the last word on pretty everything. 

2. The Disapproving Type. They are picky and choosy. Nothing is ever good enough for them. They are extreme perfectionist who will always find fault in anything and everything. 

3. The Deafening Type. These are the loudmouths. They control the conversation and have to be listened by all means. 

4. The Destructive Type. They are eruptive and violent. They get offended very fast and have uncontrollable anger that leads to violence. 

5. The Discontent Type. These are the touchy people with a thin skin. They constantly whine, grumble and complain. They will never be satisfied. 

6. The Demeaning Type. They are the holier-than-thou type who will make you look like trash. They are disrespectful and rude. 

How to deal with difficult people
God in his infinite wisdom realises that in life you will meet difficult people. As a result, He has given us through his word ways of dealing with difficult people. Here is how to deal with difficult people from a scriptural perspective:

  • Refuse to be offended. Proverbs 12:16 says: A foolish man is soon angry, and is hasty in expressing it; he is ever in trouble. But the prudent overlook an insult. Develop a tough skin and tender heart. 
  • Don't expect an apology and learn to forgive. Luke 23:34: Jesus said. "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing". 
  • Don't gossip them. Gossip is sharing information with someone who is not part of the solution or part of the problem. Proverbs 17:9 says: Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. 1 Peter 3:9. says: Not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead.
  • Don't play their game. You can't reason with difficult people, and sure enough you can't please everyone. Matthew 22:15-18 details how Jesus refused to give into the manipulations of the Pharisees.
  • Don't cave in. God doesn't expect you to be a doormat. Set the standards for yourself. 2 Corinthians 11:16-20 says: Let no one take me for a fool... 
  • Take the high ground. Don't demean yourself. Be the mature person by always doing the right thing. Romans 12:14. 17-18; 21 says Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse... Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.

Friday, 15 August 2014

7 Deadly Sins Men Make in Relationships - By Lyz Wainaina

Lyz Wainaina
We all know how it goes; you stick it out through the tough times, you get driven crazy by each other's bad habits, and, for the most part, it seems like things are going great. Then, only moments after you burn your little black book, seemingly out of nowhere, your partner ends the relationship.

The myth that there are certain things men can do to destroy their romantic relationships is true. We all know that cheating or blowing your cash on strippers will rightly push her over the edge, but there are a few less obvious things that you may have never considered. The following is a list of things that can ruin your relationship. My advice to men: Read them, learn them, and for God's sake, put them to good use.

1. Mr. Casanova. Romantic relationships and strong marriages need the foundations of fidelity and trust. Having an affair or a sexual relationship with any person who is outside the relationship will destroy both. You cannot share your body with another and expect it to have no bearing on your romantic relationship with your spouse or partner.

2. Liar Liar. Lies destroy trust. Even a little lie about how you really look when you talk online could destroy your hopes of building a relationship when you meet. A lie to your partner or spouse means you do not trust your lover with your thoughts. Lies can be insidious and may seem harmless at first, like not telling your husband what you spent on that dress, but one lie tends to lead to another, and lies can destroy relationships.

3. Mr. I am Always Right. The blame game is about pointing the finger at your partner or spouse for every little thing that goes wrong. “I’ve caught a cold and it’s your fault for leaving the window open.” When you start every conversation with “You did xxx,” or say, “It’s your fault,” so often it becomes a habit; you will find yourself slowly destroying your relationship.

4. Mr. Married to His Work. You do need to spend time with your lover to make the relationship work. Starting work at 6am every morning, finishing at 10pm, and consistently working on weekends does not give you any time to be with your lover. Half an hour’s snatched conversation and a quick cuddle before dropping off into an exhausted sleep is not a relationship. If you want your relationship to work, you need to invest time into it.

5. Mr. Yell and Scream. When you cannot have a calm conversation with your spouse or partner without having an argument, your relationship is definitely on the path of destruction. Even when you are angry, it is important that you talk calmly to your lover rather than yell and scream at each other.

6. Tune Out. Tuning out and not listening to your lover is a sure fire way to kill your relationship. Trying to have an in depth conversation during a football game is impossible. Turn off the television and sit facing your lover to enjoy real conversation.

7. Discuss Past Mistakes. Continuously bringing up past mistakes your spouse or partner has made is not conducive to building a strong relationship for the future. Bringing up the past says you have not truly forgiven your partner for the errors. You are deliberately hurting your lover by continuing to dwell on those mistakes.

Keep Your Head Up. Remember, if you decide to be in a relationship, it calls for total commitment, tolerance, maturity and faithfulness. Avoid the 7 deadly sins and you will have an awesome, remarkable and fulfilling relationship. 

Read about the 7 Deadly Sins Women Make in Relationships