Monday, 30 June 2014

7 Types of Men that Women Avoid - By Maureen Mambo

Maureen Mambo with her husband
It is said that every woman must kiss frogs before they land that Mr. Right, if he exists that is. But you know what ladies; you should not kiss frogs if you have knowledge and information on the types of men to avoid. I had a long weekend scouting for the various men, my girlfriends and I thought every woman should avoid and this is what I came up with:

1. The Loud Mouth. Women hate obnoxious, loud, self-centred and egoistic men. You will be competing with his ego for attention. He speaks big and delivers little, if anything at all. Women steer clear of the loud mouth because he will never appreciate a woman's worth. He's more of the boy’s kinda guy, hangs a lot around 'his boys' and always behaves like he's still 21 years old. He is an adolescent-adult who is still clinging to his former glory days when he was a magnate for ladies way back in campus. He's a fun guy to hang out for a random Friday nite drink, but in no a relationship material. So if you want an all rounded man, sisters look again, this train wreck will not get you anywhere.
2. The Ex Factor. "You don’t cook like Tiffany"... "You don’t give it to me like Jane did."  Hello, I am not Jane or Tiffany. If your man constantly compares you to his Exes, sister, gather your stuff and run to the hills. This is a Neanderthal. Afraid of change and will always put you down. If his Ex was all that great, why did he leave her? Women avoid this dinosaur of a man, you have more to offer in a relationship than being a reference point. You are unique in your own form and shape, and you honestly don't need to get entangled with a brother who is still hanged up with his Ex.
3. The Serial Player. This is a breed of wondering wanderers with a gifted roving eye. He ogles at anything that has a big booty and saggy cleavage. He will ogle at the woman at the bus stop, his buddy's wife, the neighbour's maid, the waitress, the news anchor, name it. With him you are pretty much invisible, of course until he wants something from you. He also has a sweet tongue. He will sweep you off your feet and promise heaven only to drop you like a hot cake once he has had a taste of your Cherry Pie. For him, you are simply a means to an end. He treats women like a game of thrones: conquer one woman at a time, before moving to the next one. He will never sincerely love you as long as Ciku, Akinyi and Mwende liveth. A tight ass here and a popping cleavage there, and you have yourself a Mr. Player.
4. The Mama’s Boy. Just like the Ex factor, he will compare everything you do to his mama. Mama comes first. All men, love their mama's we get it. However, this kind of man loves extra more. His mama is his Supreme Court Adviser, life coach, and basically he runs to her for all his issues. He always treasure mum more than you, as a result you will always come second in his life. With him your opinion counts for nothing. He gets a promotion, a new deal comes through or he is just low, mum gets to know first. Worse still, mama's boys expect their women to behave exactly like their mothers. Cook like her, speak like her, sit like her, drive like her an the list is endless. They also expect their women to cater for them like their mother's do. Brothers, no woman wants to baby-sit an ass grown up man. Sisters, pick him at your own risk.
5. The Baby Mama Drama Guy. Where do I start... This is just a typical commitment-phobia brother. He broadcasts his wild oats with any woman willing to lay on her back, as if he never got a memo on condoms. He has baby mama's all over the place, He's basically a hooo, with little self-control. I have seen this breed of men over my time taking advantage of na├»ve ladies who cannot see through their sheer lack of respect. He will always dodge you after eating your Cherry Pie, and will immediately disown you when you get paged. My advice: before you drop your pants to any brother, be some kind of a private investigator of your own - Google and Wikipedia him first. Know where he went to school, where he works, how many little rascals he has fathered and so on. Don't just naively take his word for it. You don't want to marry a brother then two years in marriage, baby mama's start popping all over the place. 
6. Mr. Stingy. Women are not gold diggers; we just want a man who can take care of us. A man doesn't have to be Bill Gates for us to date or marry them. On the contrary, most women simply want a man who will treat them with respect and be open to them about their state of finances. If a woman truly loves you, your bank account won't be a deciding factor in a relationship. Don’t take me to Kempinski and you are not able to maintain that status for the rest of the relationship. Sisters, if a man is not willing to spend on you when necessary, then he does not deserve you. Well, brothers we understand that you can’t put a value on affection or caresses and warm spooning in a cold July weather. However, you can put a value on a Jimmi Choo or a Louis Vuitton hand bag. Let him buy you if he can afford it, not rationing his money and constantly treating you with suspicion as if you are only interested in raiding his bank account. 
7. The Control Freak. Sisters avoid this man the way you will avoid touching anything before your nail polish dries up. This is the kind of man who believes that if you are his woman, then no one else should see, speak or interact with you. He is extremely insecure and overprotective, and has jealous streaks that can be very offensive and dangerous to you and others. He is the kind who will annoyingly ensure he knows where you are at all times, monitor your phone conversations, and will pretty much linger in the shadows to see who you interact with. The control freak will manage every little details of your life and will eventually suffocate happiness out of your relationship. He determines where you go to church, work, and who you hang out with. Unfortunately for me I know a girlfriend who died because of such kind of man. Steer clear of this man if you value your life.

Bonus: We totally get the boys love their toys thing. However, Mr. Gadget doesn't know how to strike the balance when it comes to his woman and his toys. He's a man who can't have a straight conversation without toting with his latest iPhone, iPad, iWatch, and his iiii's. Whether he is out to impress you with his gadgets and knowledge on technology, or he simply needs to constantly massage his ego, this brother cares much about his 2,000 cc, torque-powered second-hand imported car, his 55' inch Plasma 3D Tv, and his 15' inch Retina Display MacBook Pro laptop than he cares about you. You don't want to compete for attention with an iPhone sister, leave him to date his toys. 
As for me, I found myself a keeper, a good very handsome man, who is not afraid to take care of me and his children. He is selfless and values my opinion. He is more valuable to me than Aliko Dangote (the richest man in Africa) and Donald Trump combined. So, sisters go get your man but don’t settle for less, you’re more valuable than what you think. 

Click this link to read about the 7 Types of Women that Men Avoid

Friday, 27 June 2014

7 Types of Women that Men Avoid

Ladies, does this sound familiar: A guy you have been salivating after for the longest time finally asked you out. As far as you were concerned, the date was amazing. He was pretty much all you ever wanted in a man. Unfortunately, after the first, second or even third date he no longer seemed interested in you. Worse still, everything was going on so fine, in fact you even allowed him a couple of times to oil your cleavage and taste your Cherry Pie, but the guy eventually just vanished into thin air. He never calls, never texts as he used to, and he probably blocked your number, un-friended or un-followed you. 

Well, if you can identify with the above, tighten your seatbelt sweetheart, we are about to go for a ride. Class begins now on why probably he lost interest in you, even after you opened your tender heart, and long, nice, flowery legs to him. 

1. The Generous Hooo. I'm gonna be real with sisters. If you are always too ready to drop your pants for a brother who you don't even know his second name, men will avoid you like the Biblical Egyptian plague. He may hit it every time when you generously offer, but don't confuse it that he is into you. He's probably just having fun before he moves to the next generous hooo - and you wonder why men hit and run. Men love women with standards, value and principles. It doesn't mean you play sooo hard to get. It just means that let him prove that he's into you, and not just after tapping your Cherry Pie. If a man is truly into you, he will always find a reason to stay. 
2. The Party Animal. Men like women who are a ball of fun, but only for a time. It's hard to have a relationship with a woman whose life is a long series of parting and clubbing. It doesn't mean don't party, it simply means that you need to know how to strike the balance. Don't get it twisted, a brother will definitely want to see the wild side of you, but also the other side of the wife material. 
3. The Flirty Chameleon. Do you giggle, touch, and toss your hair at every Tom, Dick and Harry? Trust me, men will avoid you. Flirting isn't all necessarily bad. However there's a difference between situational flirt and a serial flirt. Men avoid flirty woman because it tells them either of three things: you constantly need attention and endorsement, you have zero self-esteem, or you are simply a generous hooo.
4. The Gold Miner. Men can smell a gold digger a mile away. If all you bring in a relationship is a collection of high heels, weaves, and a big booty, sweetheart you gonna get played eventually. Men love women of substance. Women who fear God, women of character. Women who not only know about Justin Timberlake's boxers but also investment and wealth creation. Men love a woman who has her money in check, and can once in a while 'take care of the bill'. If you expect a man to ship your ass to the Bahamas on your birthday, but buy him curflings or a tie worth a dollar on his birthday, sister we have a problem. 
5. The Nagging Drop Box. Men hate nagging women. If you are always complaining, scolding and picking up petty and unnecessary fights with your man, he is eventually going to hit the Highway. Remember you can actually have a mature conversation with your man without you having to shout your lungs out. One more thing: he's gonna make mistakes like forgetting to turn the toilet's lid, so once in a while give him the benefit of doubt. Constantly finding fault will drive him a way.
6. The Cable News Network (CNN). If you have a problem just shutting up for even a second to breath, men will run to the hills when they see you. Men don't like women who talk and talk and talk. Give a brother some space. Learn to just shut up once in a while. In fact, learn to know when to speak, and when not to. If he's just come from work after a long day at the office, give him space to relax. Don't start with him at the door about how a friend of your friend's friend is having a baby; or how Alejandro in some Mexican soap slept with the housemaid and killed his wife, and he is now a fugitive in San Diego. One more thing: during a date let the conversation be balanced. Don't talk for an hour about your grandmother, boss, watchman, newspaper vendor, the weather, shoes and Obama when all a brother asked you was which school you went to. 
7. The Baggage Claim. We all have our baggage from our past relationships. Sister, don't heap all your baggage to a man on the first date, or cleverly be introducing it in the relationship over time. If you are always talking about your EX or are in constant communication with him, you know the "we are just friends" bullshit, your man is gonna leave you eventually. No man wants to compete for your attention and time. If you have a baby dad, know how to handle the nigga without having to jeopardize your current relationship. If you want to keep a man, be wise on how you handle your baggage. 
Click this link to read about the 7 Types of Men that Women Avoid. 

Wednesday, 25 June 2014

How I'm on my way to becoming a millionaire in 3 months

Disclaimer: What I'm about to share is my personal experience aimed at inspiring other young entrepreneurs. I also aim to create a forum where young entrepreneurs can share information and knowledge and learn from each other as we strive towards financial freedom and wealth creation. As such, this article should not be mistaken as a form of chest-thumping or flossing, far from it.

If you are an ardent follower of this blog, by now you would have noticed that I am very passionate on matters personal financial management and wealth creation. For background information on how that came about be sure to click on this link and watch my talk on personal financial management and wealth creation. Today, however I share with you some very practical ways on how I believe I am on my way to becoming a millionaire in 3 months through farming.  

1. Sweet baby Melon. In partnership with my cousin, we have 3 acres of watermelon. Though the crop didn't grow as planned, nonetheless we expect a good produce. After planting, watermelon takes 3 months to mature. Simple mathematics: An acre of watermelon has an average of 13,000 to 15,000 plants. On wholesale pricing, a fruit goes for Kenya Shillings (Kshs) 100. Therefore, with all factors constant, an acre should give you Kshs 1.3 to 1.5 million. Multiple that amount with 3 acres, and you can easily make between Kshs 3.9 million to 4.5 million in 3 months. Our working capital, which included investment in drip irrigation system was Kshs 300,000. Without drip irrigation our working capital will be less than Kshs 100,000.
Two weeks ago I was on the farm spraying insecticides on the watermelon
2. Who can resist a plate of French fries? Once again in partnership with my cousin, we planted last week an acre of Irish Potato. The demand for Irish potato in Kenya has for the longest time been on a high record. In fact, according to records at the Ministry of Agriculture, Kenyan farmers are able to meet only 5% of the national demand. This has given farmers from neighbouring countries, notably Tanzania, Uganda and others the perfect export market in Kenya. An acre of potato (using certified seeds) should produce at least 110 bags. It takes 3 months for the crop to be ready for harvest. At the moment, a bag of 90 Kgs of potato in Nairobi is retailing at Kshs 4,000. Therefore from an acre, you can earn over Kshs 440,000. Our working capital, including the cost of buying certified seeds was less than Kshs. 40,000.
Certified seeds by the Kenya Plant Health Inspectorate Services (KEPHIS) I purchased last month.

3. Nutritious cabbage. In partnership with my cousin, we are also planting an acre of cabbage in the next one month. Harvesting of cabbage starts 1.5 to 4 months after transplanting and lasts up to 4 weeks. A good average yield from an acre is 10,000 to 12,000 Kgs. At the moment in Nairobi, a 126 Kg bag of cabbage retails at Kshs 2,200. Therefore, from an acre you can earn Kshs 200,000 or more. Our working capital is less than Kshs 20,000.

In the coming days, I will share about my tea project (Ooh! boy! is this a gold mine or what?), and how if all goes according to plan, I will be earning Kshs 4.2 million a year. I will also be sharing about my onion farming, and other planned projects that are in the pipeline. Remember you can never go wrong with farming. By the end of the day, whether you are rich or poor, you will have to eat. And guess what, someone has to grow that crop. Meaning, as long as man lives, young, old, educated, uneducated, black, white, blue e.t.c they will need food. So, in case you have been wondering how to create wealth, or where to start, I hope this article has not only inspired you, but given you a clear idea of where to begin. If you are unable to start alone, you can partner with someone with the same goal and vision. If you want to go quickly go alone. If you want to go far, go together, goes an African proverb.

I am a firm believer that by trusting in God and working smart, you can easily achieve your dreams. Be sure to subscribe as well as join and become a follower of this blog so that you will not miss any article and stories published.

Monday, 23 June 2014

This is Africa - Love it or Leave it

Mention the word ‘Africa’ and the image that comes to most people around the world is that of an overpopulated and poverty stricken Continent. Majority of people perceive Africa as a place where thousands of people die everyday of HIV/AIDs and other preventable diseases like malaria. Africa is defined with images of malnourished children whose ribs can literally be counted, villagers queuing for relief food, ethnic and religious conflicts, famine, genocide, civil war, corruption, illiteracy, unemployment, barbarism and the list is endless.

During my travels out of Africa, I have encountered individuals who have weird ideologies about Africa. I remember in 2005 when I was in Asia Pacific someone stopped me at the hotel lobby and curiously wanted to know how I was coping with life there “now that I was living in a house”. I asked him exactly what he meant, and he unashamedly informed me that he had heard through the media that people in Africa live on trees. Geez! These notions about Africa, otherwise over exaggerated as factual and truthful is a product of our consumption of what I call the stereotypes of the mainstream media, so called international media. It’s unfortunate that popular images of Africa held by the rest of the world are based on media’s stereotypes, which offer fragmented, often inaccurate images of Africa. 

Africa and the Media – A Conflict of Interests?
It’s beyond ideological debate that anyone who has never been in Africa has their own preconceived opinion about the continent, depending on what they have heard or been told. And more often than not, their opinion or knowledge about Africa is always not balanced or factual.

This crisis-du-jour approach of the media has fueled stereotypes and unintentionally has perpetuated misunderstanding about Africa globally. No wonder, Africa is usually associated with words like jungle, cannibalism, primitivism, ignorance, epidermis and the like. In fact, from the western spectrum, many still patronizingly see Africa as a Dark Continent, a seemingly mysterious and dangerous land of poverty and violence full of malarial infestations and anything not humane.

Well for the record, it’s true that bad things happen in Africa, and quite a lot of bad things. It’s true hundreds of people die everyday due to HIV/AIDs and other preventable and treated diseases. It’s true multitudes of people live in abject poverty. It’s true ethnic and religious conflicts abound in Africa. It’s true the rate of illiteracy, unemployment, mortality rate and corruption is high in Africa. It’s true… it’s true… and the list goes on and on about evils in Africa.

Beautiful Nairobi: My City, My Town
Well, fasten your seat belts buddy - good things also do happen in Africa, and good things are abundantly found in Africa. It’s just that they are not considered by the mainstream media as “newsworthy” or “sensational’ enough to attract enough viewership, readership and listenership, hence they are never reported. 

Rarely do we hear about African successes, and even less rarely do they register. And yet Africa has interacted with the outside world for many years. This interaction has facilitated many African contributions and exports to the world, such as agricultural products, minerals and other material goods, as well as knowledge and cultural expressions. This interaction has also allowed African societies to benefit from imports from the outside world, such as information and other technologies. And this is what globalization is all about.

Just to bring my point home, sample this case scenario – how many of you know that Kenya is among the largest producer of coffee and tea in the world? Do you know that Ghana is the largest producer of cocoa in the world, and that most of the chocolate eaten in Northern America and Europe comes from cocoa plants grown in West Africa? Do you know that Nigeria is one of the leading producers of oil in the world, and South Africa is one of the leading producers of gold in the world? Do I have to mention about Benin with cotton, Liberia with diamond, Algeria with petroleum products, Zambia with copper? And the list is of course endless.

What about the beautiful tourist sceneries, magnificent national parks and game reserves, with their one in a kind wildlife that attracts thousands of tourists from all over the world? It’s needless for me to mention about African’s sportsmanship, exceptional cultures, norms and traditions. Africa, being the second largest continent in the world, is indeed a very diverse continent. This diversity is articulated in its physical geography and climate; in its plurality of cultures, traditions, beliefs, values, religions, and artistic expressions; in its many modes of economic production, distribution, and consumption; in its diverse social and political structures and practices.

On the other hand, Africa has a rich history, a dynamic history about Africa as the birthplace of human societies; it has been home to many great civilizations; its history has been shaped by contact with others through great migrations, wars, slavery, colonialism, the Cold War, and the waxing and waning of state systems. It’s a continent that defines humanity – from man’s early civilization to man’s modern technological globe. On the contrary, none of Africa ’s developments and successes ever finds a place in the mainstream media. Consequently, most people still view Africa as a dark, uncivilized continent in some jungle somewhere, whereby its inhabitants are still living on trees and in the Stone Age period.

The Pride of Africa
I must acknowledge in this concomitance, that Africa, as an entity must bear some responsibility for its own affairs. Lack of responsible leaders and good governance, corruption and misuse of vast wealth of natural resources is partly to blame for Africa ’s crisis. But beyond this, Africa, for all of its misery, for all of the demagoguery of some of its leaders (like the megalomaniacal self-imposed presidents-for-life) for all of the seemingly inscrutable violence, one thing is but for sure – Africa represents both hope and opportunity and that is what gives us strength and power to face the next day.

If one listens to the African Street, ambivalent messages abound. Distrust and fear linger, to be sure, but beneath the fear and recriminations is also an abundance of joy, hope and determination. Despite our weakness and human errors, which by the way, we are ready to acknowledge – we also have our strength and pride, which is the basic foundation of what Africa stands for. What many Africans desire, therefore, is respect from the mainstream media. Not a kind of respect that is based on the premise of equality, but one based on moral responsibility that is free from stereotypes and self-centered interests.

What Africa is asking for is a balanced presentation of facts about the Continent. Be free to report about Africa’s misfortunate, acts of terror, corruption, abject poverty, tragedies, epidermises, ethnic and religious conflicts, illiteracy, ignorance and what have you. In fact, as Africa needs help from the developed nations, we encourage the mainstream media to let the world know about Africa ’s problems.

Nothing beats the African resilience
However, in the same breathe and enthusiasm that you broadcast about the Continent’s problems - Africa is asking that, you also let the world know about its successes, diversity, health, history, plurality of cultures, socio-economic production, literacy, technological progression in various sectors, employment and educational opportunities, natural resources, sportsmanship and so on. This and this alone, is what Africa is asking for from the mainstream media. Reckon that a coin has two sides.

In Conclusion
Even as we reflect about the role and achievement of the media in our society, let’s remember what Mahatma Gandhi once said: “The sole aim of a journalist should be service. The newspaper press is a great power, but just as unchained torrent of water submerges the whole country side and devastates crops, even so an uncontrolled press serves but to destroy”. I couldn’t have said it better.

Some call it Africa, we call it home. This is our Home. This is our Africa – love it or leave it.

Thursday, 19 June 2014

The Law is indeed an Ass: My Day In a Court of Law

I spent the better part of my morning yesterday at the Milimani Law Court in Nairobi, Kenya, and Ooh! Boy! Did I have an experience or what? For the record, I was in court not as a defendant, but as a complainant, after some wise man decided to obtain a substantial amount of money from me out of false pretense. Trust me, these things happen even to the best of us. With regard to the specifics of my case, well, consider this a story for another day. 

Surprisingly, the court was pretty clean, though annoyingly packed. I was sandwiched between the investigating officer and the prosecutor of my case. Speaking of the prosecutor, she represented the best of both worlds. On one hand, she was a tough daughter of a 'beach' (if there's such a word), who knew how to ambush, attack, expose, and win any argument in court. On the other hand, she was a cool, calm and collected corporate woman, who was generous with her smile, and stingy with her affection. 

Moments before the Judge appeared in court, the Court Registrator had walked in with all her womanliness following her (read she had a nice cute ass). I must, perhaps sheepishly admit that she had a sizzling hour glass figure that made the accused men in court ogle in lust. Additionally, she had a juicy, mouthwatering, pimp-slap ass that gave her the appearance of a pure African woman. Two things, however crushed my admiration of her. 

First, she didn't have a pretty face to compliment her sexy body with its immaculate features. In simple terms, she had an easily forgettable face, meaning she was ugly-looking, at least by alcoholic standards. Secondly, she had an equally ugly weave that pretty much de-sexualized her sexiness and womanliness. Her weave, with all fairness looked cheaply perched on her head. Frankly speaking, I was convinced either birds were nesting inside her weave or insects had made it their permanent residence. My assumption was precipitated by the fact she constantly kept hitting her head with her hand, and at times poking a pen inside her weave, perhaps to tell the 'animals' inside her weave to shut up. Putting the last straw on the back of her African sexiness and womanliness, she had a skimpily dressed attitude the size of either a Sim-card or a postage stamp. Her attitude was revealed in her talk, arrogance, and walk. Let me just say, I was thankful she wasn't the Judge. 

Minutes later, the stout-looking Judge had walked in, in all seriousness only found in West African adult movies. After the court formalities that we happily inherited from the colonists, it was time for serious business. The first case up for hearing was of some fellow who appeared to have a complicated relationship with water (read he was as dirty as they come). He also seemed not to have ever gotten a memo on either a comb or a barber. His hair looked like a museum for Chimpanzees. Apparently, he was accused of robbery with violence. What unfolded next was what Blockbuster movies are made of.

Long story short. In his defense, which was self-represented, having told the court that he didn't need a
lawyer since he is a magistrate in his own right, he had proceeded to lecture the court on the virtues of His Great the King and Emperor Haile Selassie. The Judge's interjection for him to remain focused to his case were meant with salacious abuses and insults. Of course, he was slapped with contempt of court charges which only infuriated him more. In defiance, he had stripped naked amid screams of women in court. Truthfully, I was not very sure whether the screams were out of excitement or fear.

Carrying journalistic hormones, I was unable to resist the temptation of snapping a few photos on my phone. For the record, this fellow as unkempt as he was surprisingly had a well endowed nightstick. I now understand why women are attracted to bad boys. It took eleven minutes and four police officers to subdue him. Now that the mood in the court had been distorted, and particularly that of the Judge, I was obviously fearing for the objectivity of my case, which was next. 

As fate would have it, the accused wise man's lawyer had stood him up, meaning my case was to be adjourned. Of course, given the Judge was in a pretty bad mood, he had issued a warrant of arrest for the missing lawyer. The lawyer was arrested minutes later as he was busy making a phone call in the men's washroom, with no care in the world that he was needed in court. Turns out, he was on a go-slow strike, having not been paid by his client who happened to be the accused wise man. The hearing of my case was adjourned till October this year. I hope there wouldn't be any more drama in court on that day, though for my own amusement I kinda hope there would be.

Monday, 16 June 2014

My Father Isn't the Greatest Dad on Earth

My father, Mr. Eliud Waudo
I published this note last year during Father's Day and I thought it wise to publish it again, particularly for those who might have missed it. This article was also published last year in Kenya's The Daily Nation newspaper on Father's Day. 

Father’s Day was yesterday, and it was amazing reading dedications, particularly on social media of how majority of people glorified, adored and almost worshipped their fathers.
                                 
“Dad, you are the best father on earth,” some even boldly proclaimed to the world. Perhaps I was the only one who didn't tweet how my father is the greatest dad on earth. My silence was noticeably and undoubtedly loud. In fact, suffice for me to even confess that I didn't even call my dad, leave alone wish him a happy father’s day. And just for the record, my father is still alive and kicking. Well, before I fungua roho (open my heart) and talk about my father, let me give you a brief background of where I'm coming from.
                  
When I was five years old. I adored my father. To me, he was the best father. He always had answers to my stupid questions (read I was convinced he knew everything). He was patient with me and was very loving (read he ensured we eat meat once a week). When I turned 10, my father was the greatest. He was a smart farmer, a wise husband and a role model to me. When I hit 15, my perception of dad began to swiftly change. I slowly began to realize that he didn't know everything and wasn't after all the greatest dad.
              
My brother (left), mother and father
When I turned 18, full of adolescent raging hormones. I began to despise my father. Suddenly I considered him old fashioned - an old man who didn't know much about the world. I began comparing him with other fathers, and every time I did, I despised him more. He didn't own a car or a fancy house like other dads. He wasn’t rich like other dads. He didn't fluently speak English like other dads. Worse enough, he wasn't educated like other dads. I realized that he was just an old school boring village farmer.

When I turned 25. I began to realize that I only had one dad on earth and whether I despise him or not, he was still my father. I began to realize how he had denied himself the finest things in life and a lavish lifestyle to ensure that I went to the best school and got the best education. I realized that the best gift dad could ever have given me was to deny himself the pleasures of the world and material things to ensure that I got educated. I realized that he may not have been the richest dad, but he gave me the best gift - education. Steadily I began appreciating him in little ways, the greatest being working very hard in campus to make him proud.
                 
When I turned 30. I began to realize just how much my father loved and cared for his family. He may not have been the perfect dad. Of course he had and still has his weaknesses, but he tried his best to raise his children the best way he could. Without exaggerating, my father has always been there for us. He may not have known how to express his love by splashing us with fancy gifts - but he unconditionally splashed us with love and care.
                 
Well, I will be turning 33 this week, and as I look back, I cannot help but thank God for my father. God knows - I'm who I'm today because of my father. He ensured that my upbringing was rooted in moral uprightness, hard work, respect for others, and more importantly the fear of God, and that has been my foundation to success. He may not have owned or driven a car. But every time I travel home and carry him in my car (he likes sitting in the co-driver seat and put his elbow on the window) – the total self-satisfaction and smile on his old rugged face is – priceless.
                  
I won’t tweet and shout to the whole world how he’s the greatest dad on earth, because truth be told – he is not and he will never be. However, when I look in his eyes, I know my father loves his family. He may never have dreamt of taking his children abroad for holiday (the best he could do was take us to Kitale ASK show). But over and above, he did his very best to raise us. Undeniably, all you have to do is look at the likes of me to see the footprint and the masterpiece of my father’s love and sacrifices.
My brother, father and I
              
For those who know my father, perhaps some may spend ages to detail how he has never amounted to anything. How he wasted his prime in alcoholism and so forth. Others may describe him as a reserved and shy person who perhaps lacks ambition and drive for life. Be it as it may, as his beloved son – I'm proud of my father. He had and still has his weakness (so do all dads) – but I'm glad he’s my father. 

Just before I wrote this Note, I called him up and told him I'm proud he’s my father, and I'm grateful for all the sacrifices he made to ensure that I get the best foundation for success in life. I could feel the smile on his face, the self-fulfillment in his voice and the joy in his soft reserved laughter. I immediately surprised him with a Father's Day Mpesa gift (mobile-money transfer), and when he called back to say thank you my son - to me that was more than anyone could ever ask of a father at his age. Personally, I can't wait to be a father too, and just like my father give my family the best gift in life - love and care. 
               
As we celebrate Father’s Day, perhaps you may not have had the perfect father like me. Perhaps you are even ashamed of him for more of his failures in life than successes. Perhaps you compare him with other dads and feel like he amounts to nothing. Well, the thing is – he’s still your one and only father and you can never substitute him. Resolve today to appreciate your father. You are what you are today because of the love and sacrifices he made. Even if he never directly contributed to your present success, but he laid the foundation for it, because that’s what dads do.
             
Happy Father’s Day! 

Thursday, 12 June 2014

Message To Women: Being Sexy Is Not Enough - By Major Mack

Are black women sexy? No doubt! When it comes to sexiness sisters have no equal. But can I be honest with you? I'm actually TIRED of sexy black women. Now hear me out on this, please.

Sexiness don't mean jack snot. Not in the grand scheme of things. Visually appealing, yes. But I can't eat sexiness. Sexiness won't help pay these bills or pay off our student loans. Sexiness won't qualify for a mortgage, or get the IRS off my back long enough to make my next big business move.

Sexiness won't help me raise these kids. Neither will it teach my daughters their true worth and value in this world.

We got way too many 'Sexy' sistas out here with nothing else to bring to the table. Sexiness is the totality of their package. And that's WACK!

Most black men looking for a relationship want a USEFUL woman. Visual appeal alone won't cut it. Besides: there are so many black women competing to be the sexiest, it's not even a race worth entering.

Can you cook? Do you clean? Do you have mothering skills. Do you love your father? Respect him? Respect other black men in general? Have you divested yourself of prior relationship baggage? Can you hold a conversation about REAL world events? And no: Love and Hip Hop doesn't count!

Do you have a REAL relationship with a REAL God: or do you follow the fake one many American Christians have invented for themselves because he's more tolerable than the actual Truth?

These are the kind of questions discerning men are asking nowadays.

So if sexiness is all you bring to the table, you can keep it. I'd rather have a woman of pure unadulterated SUBSTANCE. And I'm sure I speak for most conscious-thinking brothers out there on this one.

There's a new breed of black men out there ladies. And we ain't settling for second best or taking any shorts. Either come correct or go get with Tyrone. That's all many of you are use to dealing with anyway...


By: Major Mack