Thursday, 30 July 2015

Yes, I love you. But I'm not responsible for your happiness

I met Caleb at Julius Nyerere International Airport in Dar-es-Salaam, Tanzania at the time Baba Jimmy, he of the kubafu fame was still snoring at the House on the Hill. Our flight to Nairobi had been delayed due to bad weather, or at least that's what the cute KQ pretty thing kinda romantically told us in heavily accented flattering English-Swahili (you know how some neighbours of ours down in Tz struggle with this English monster).

Monday, 27 July 2015

The only woman who knows about her man's whereabout is a widow

To say I am utterly devastated will be an understatement. I just found out my husband of six years has been sleeping with my sister. I don't know what to do. My heart is broken into pieces. I have literally cried my eyes out. I am confused and hurt beyond consolation. Friends, please pray for me and my children. Read a friend's Facebook post last week.

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Rest in peace Cucu

Yesterday in a small village in Ndumberi in Kiambu County we buried Cucu (read shoo shoo), my grandmother-in-law to-be.

Thursday, 16 July 2015

Let's bury a luhya

So, you are still the primitive Kenyan who shows up at people's houses without an appointment. These were the first words, my uncle, Enos ranted at me as soon as the skinny miserable-looking housemaid ushered me to the living room.

Monday, 13 July 2015

You have two ears and one mouth - Listen more, talk less

I once went out on a date. It was those days when giving a woman a Vaseline petroleum jelly wrapped in a red handkerchief and accompanied with a block of juicy Sukari Nguru (read jaggery) would pass as the best Valentines' gift ever.

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Monday, 6 July 2015

So, what exactly did a Kikuyu do to you?

I met Mike early last year when he applied for a communications consultancy job at my organisation. He was a nice chap. Down to earth. Industrious. Knowledgeable. Skilled and he always dressed to impress. I liked him immediately. As a result, I gave him the Kshs 4.2 million job.

Thursday, 2 July 2015

Ladies, its your fault if he plays you

Joe meets Sharon. Gets swept heads over heels. Brother is wildly smitten. For a couple of months, he runs over town like a headless chicken, impressing his new flame with dinner and movie dates. To spice it up, he even proudly parades her to his boys (for affirmation, perhaps). Though its not exactly his thing, he nonetheless shows up with her at the Koroga Festival and Blankets and Wines. Mwanaume ni effort, he reassures himself as he's dragged along to some wedding.