Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Livingstone, Zambia

Spiralling like a boss is the Zambezi, Africa's 4th longest river, with its majestic Victoria's Falls welcoming you to Livingstone, Zambia. Its one of those captivating sites that tempts you to say the Lord's Prayer in your mother tongue. Problem is, you are sitting next to this white lady who's been complaining like forever on why she can't use that loo only privileged souls in business class are entitled to. 

Monday, 23 November 2015

Ladies, keep flaunting it even after you say I do

She wears her skirt seven inches above her knees, so that it crops up her thighs when she sits. She has this sexiness and irresistible sexual appeal written all over her. Unlike her peers who paint their faces with a tonne of makeup in order to look 'human', she looks elegant, classy and stylish without trying too hard. She's considerably of medium height, stunningly beautiful and curiously intelligent. Her smile is genuine. Her eyes sparkling. Her demenour absorbing.

Thursday, 19 November 2015

VIDEO: Let's Talk About Mentorship By Douglas Waudo

August 2000. I relocated to Nairobi to attend college. Fresh from the village I looked confused, dressed hilariously, but determined nonetheless to make the best out of my life. I guess what kept me going was that dream, hope and inner yearning of a better tomorrow. Well, 15 years later, its noon. October 19, 2015, I walk into the studios of TV Cosmopolitan in Lavington, Nairobi for an interview on mentorship. The boy who grew up herding his father's sheep, battling jiggers and hardly spoke English with any confidence. The boy with the lowest self-esteem in the world, and who didn't seem will amount to anything other than an average mediocre village life was now being sought by TV stations to be interviewed.

I look back at my life, and all I can say is: He truly is Jehovah El-Shaddai, The Almighty God. Never allow your past to define your present or determine your future. Chase your dreams. Follow your passion. Trust in God and He will lift you up. I love the fact about God that He is not a respecter of persons. Even if you didn't get a chance to get the best education, live in the best houses or estates, or brought up with rich parents or a fancy lifestyle, Yawheh will still glorify His name in you. As you watch this video, I encourage you today to rise above human definitions and limitations of you, and realise that you carry God-given potential for greatness to live effectively on earth. John 10:10 says Jesus came to give us life in abundance. Refuse to settle for less. Refuse to live an average, mediocre life. You were created for greatness and for a divine purpose. Its time to live effectively on earth.

The Douglas Waudo Mentorship Program has since changed its name to The Living Effectively Mentorship Program. The name change was inspired by the greater vision of the program's expansion, as well as to accommodate organisations, institutions, individuals, churches, universities and corporate entities who have expressed interest for partnership and collaboration with us. The Living Effectively Mentorship aims to equip individuals to discover their purpose and maximise their God-given potential to live effectively on earth as they also become agents of change.

Image Credit: TVC

Wednesday, 18 November 2015

Usikojoe Hapa

To my loyal readers in Slovakia, usikojoe hapa is Swahili for don't pee here. In Slovak, you will say nemajú čúrať tu. Well, now that I have a chance to speak to you directly, I would like to say a big ďakujem za nasledujúcich môj blog (Thank you for reading my blog). Google Analytics tells me you are big fans. Ok, now back to the peeing thing. 

Monday, 16 November 2015

Hey, Look at Me, I am from the Diaspora

So, I am stuck with this two chaps sitting next to me on this 6 hour flight to +254, as they kept referring to Kenya. They were Kenyans returning home, perhaps for holiday or something. But the way they described Kenya and her people, you would be forgiven to think they were tourists visiting the beloved Mama Africa for the first time, and they couldn't wait to take a selfie with a black person.  

Friday, 13 November 2015

Till a Mzungu Do Us Part

I haven't seen or heard from Faith for a long time. Understandably so. Heheh! Reke gwire! since she landed that odiero (white man), she went into hibernation or rather blocked all her friends from her new found glorious life. For those fortunate enough to still have her as a follower on Twiraa would be treated to occasional quotes of Swami Sivananda on her timeline. Forgive me, but I am always very suspicious of peeps who endlessly post quotes on social media. Prof. Kimani told me in Psychology class that such are troubled souls seeking either attention or consolation. But then again, who would trust a professor unable to pronounce: flabbergasted.

Wednesday, 11 November 2015

The Devil Loves an Orgasm

It's one of those ka-loose Saturdays. The weather is perfect for a swim. Problem is, while peeps were learning how to swim, you were busy writing love letters to Mrs. Jackson's daughter. So, you call your homeboy, Steve. He's one of those chaps who never lack a plot. Besides he always shows up with some hot, yellow-yellow pretty things that always excites your southern tropical. Its end month, your bank account is smelling nice. You feel like a million dollars - rich and important.

Monday, 9 November 2015

Baby on Board

I'm always fascinated by first-time parents. They seem to have this mystery about them that is either unexplored, understated, or even misunderstood. The ambiguity and paranoia of some about their little rascals always intrigues me. Some treat their little ones like some innocent cute bombs, which if not taken good care of will explore and wipe out life on earth. While others seem delusional about having a child. They will check its temperature hundred times a day. Call the doctor fifty times in a minute when the little rascal winks at the ceiling or coughs for fun. Still others will bother the gods with countless strings of prayers, just because the little rascal smiled and cried in the same tone.

Wednesday, 4 November 2015

My engagement - Meet the Parents

So, this past Saturday as the gods would have it, I showed up with my peeps at Missus' home in that small matter of asking her folks for her hand in marriage. You good bro, my cousin asks as we approach the gate in a long entourage. Of course, I was good. I had watched enough Nigerian movies to be able to pull this effortlessly, or so I thought.

Monday, 2 November 2015

Envy and the Image Trap

I stumbled upon this Scripture this morning during my devotion time, and it blew my mind away. Ecclesiastes 4:4 (NLT): "Then I observed that most people are motivated to success because they envy their neighbors. But this, too, is meaningless - like chasing the wind." The more I meditated on this verse, the more it opened a whole new world to me. I began to wonder how many of us are actually motivated to success because we envy our neighbours. It appears to God that envy plays a big role in most people's success; whether they know it or not, or whether they want to admit it or not.