Tuesday, 15 November 2016

The King, The Throne and His Women

I parted with my foreskin under the surgical eyes of Dr. Joseph Karamoja, the respected family doctor, on a chilly morning in 1988. I was barely seven years-old. I was skinny, and though my parents have never been held to account, I believe I was malnourished. The gods - perhaps for their own entertainment - had slapped me with a big bald warthog-like head that was dotted with mashilingi (fungal infection of the scalp and hair shafts).

Wednesday, 2 November 2016

The Gospel of Flossing

My father used to say that a man needs three things in life: a clever lawyer, a forgiving priest and a submissive mistress. If you ask me, I think a man needs four things in life: a forgiving wife, an extremely understanding landlord, a Bible and a humble spirit.